Understand that this is a dream...

2006-04-08T01:40:00.000-07:00

I have moved.......

and I'm glad I did...

Lala's new home

2006-04-05T19:49:00.000-07:00

Two words for one

GROW UP!

or is it too hard a word for you to comprehend?
I would think so

2006-04-04T23:25:00.000-07:00

In recent shocking memory in my mind
has left a mark in indenial that my love is home
Been spending these 3 days since Sunday with her
and each moment seems newer than before
not because we've been apart for a bit
but, it was a decision we chose to take and live
How often do we often sit and think about our lives, goals and future?
The indefinite paths that we choose and come across,
how people change our mindsets and maturity
how we simply grow up, in other words.
Before I crawl into bed, I stopped and thought
of what I have seen, read and felt.
For you, I think u're lying individual in many ways
selfish, immatured and self indulgence.
Forgiveness lies within yourself, but guilt never runs away.
But with such a character like yours, what goes around comes around
It had never left, you just don't see it.
For you, it's not jealousy or envy, immaturity or naive
It's just such a failure that your pretence character brings
immaturity sets on another, a perfect thought was set before the history ended
We were stupid to see what faces you have.
For another, finding comfort and trying to be all that 'sweet' never get you far
grow up and next time you find some comfort in another, pick on your conscience first.
For one far away, it's been a while. I wonder your existence is still around.
I often found on your written around, but how have you been?
I send my comfort and friendship across the seas, and I pray you are much stronger
in your mind, heart and decisions. I'm here, just here.
For love, kisses never fail to melt a heart, words never fail to indulge in helpless mind.
through thick and thin, we know how conscience pricks the ones that sink, the ones' characters we would never endure. For love and many days we fulfill, it's a neverending story.
For gurlie, I'm happy you're happy cause you're happy that I"m happy.
And we're happy cause we know we're happy and cause we know we're happy
we'll always be on the happy side where we'll always be happy.
For a passerby, my amazement how you read through this,
how my thoughts seem to even enter your mind to understand
or do you find understanding a big problem?
I didn't understand a single line I wrote, the fingers just went on typing.
my mind and conscience have left a note
I'm getting away from all these thoughts
I'm bitchy today and I deserve it.
*I'm waiting for a velvet night at Zouk on Friday,
at least I know I'm surrounded by maturity and peace*
Move bitch, get out the way

2006-04-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

2006-04-01T23:02:00.000-08:00

Was looking through the 'lost and found' book I ever so enjoyed
on nights where thoughts ran through a helpless and empty mind
the book fills a story of a heart once broken yet strengthened
My ever so dearest baybee would be home in six days
and how I longed for that wonderful hugs and kisses.
I'm a sucker for that, as so I think.
But nevertheless,
I'm appreciating the many whom kept me company this whole month
it's not the end, it's just the beginning.
I'm in a occupational dilemma for my studies
to continue or not, it has happen once again.
This time, with many much support and sponser for people around me
my parents have been asking me to study a different line
as what they know of what I always wanted to do
tourism, hotel or child psychology.
It was a dream to enter the line of tourism, working overseas as much
But, how much would you earn and how far can one go?
In fact, how much can one earn in the Singapore industry
As far as I am concern, I have a roof,
food and enough to survive and be happy
that's good enough.
So where do this life go from here... what futures lies within me
Simply enjoy this type of night of thinking and more thinking
deciding and making a decision.
If it was that simple to just toss a coin.
Perfection is simplity.
Imperfection is confusion.
I'm in a state that the mind's running epmty
and the heart's caught within
Words of wisdom doesn't help much, yet I need a moment of decision
without regret, desperation or even pressure.
Prayers is what I depend, signs are what I see
the heart will follow thee, until it meets my mind.

2006-04-01T15:47:00.000-08:00

2006-04-01T15:19:00.000-08:00

Another week's passed! Gosh! it's that fast.

One moment you're at the peak of a busy week,
and the next you're still at the busy peak.
Just that..... you can spend a lil time updating blogs like me!
So then I peeked into Pickles' bloggy

J.U.S.T TO K.I.L.L SOME T.I.M.E OFF A W.O.R.K.I.N.G. SATURDAY
I got an idea from her what to blog today!

10 good reasons why Lala is happy today!

Baybee's coming home in 6 days and everything's good on her side
My ipod earphones are back to its self!
I'm staying home to sleep!
It's 1st April, pay day, progress package day, April's fools!
itune's playing the old fav: "Don't cha wish your gf was hot like me!"
Did i mentioned, my baybee's coming home!!! Yipeee!!!
A shopping day with Pickles tomorrow
My Birkenstock's sandals have finally arrived!
4th season of Scrubs dvd is making Lala happy!
Mummy made yummy lunch today!

10 reasons why Lala feels she missed!

Baybee's not here right now! I'm missing you!
I can't go to thumper next tue! sob! work night!
my grandma....
Anxiously waiting for holidays, for my getaway Sydney trip!
I need some grooving martini night soon!
Saturday has become a work day instead of a well deserved break!
I miss evening masses at Ol! the choir, the silence
Car drives with baybee just around and about
Snuggling in bed! Why did the rain stop today!
playing scrabble due to my busy work schedule!

And so the day continues..............

2006-03-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

It's just these days

where T.I.M.E

is moving just too

S
L
O
W
L
Y

and all one can do

is just S.I.T

and watch day pass this

S.L.O.W

2006-03-26T21:06:00.000-08:00

All I want is to feel this way

To be this close, to feel the same

All I want is to feel this way

The evening speaks, I feel it say

I have finally found my long awaited search! thanks to my baybee darlin!!!!
Thanks love, without you
I would be still searching

Currently listening to:
Artist:Toad The Wet Sprocket
Album: Fear (1991)
"All I Want"

2006-03-26T16:54:00.000-08:00

2006-03-26T10:16:00.000-08:00

This mind blowing week often ends off well
An utterful awful start to the week
to actually put my attention on naive behaviours
and totally disappointment
it's not surprise like what many said...
"behaviour indulgence in their own kind, no wonder they make perfection"
Stupility and simple comprehension to understand
Gosh! Their minds must have grown somewhere unnecessary...
they need to grow up! and i mean GROW UP!
cause most of the time growing up isn't always about you.

So then, an end to a deprive attention from these people
I move on to a greater and more worthwhile things in my life
With a week that passed 23rd, I was surprised at work with a cake
and of course children singing and yummy strawberry shortcake
with good intentions by my boss because of my weak throat.
And of course, a good start to inspector's visit and also lesson plans hand up!

What more can I ask for this week? with baby dearest smiles and love from far
and a Saturday night with my Pickles and our window shopping
We're proud gurlies of "NO shopping bags for the night"
So there goes Lala's one week just passing by.....
which I often find it hard to believe week by week just passing like that

Which all ends well, Lala feels loved by her baybee and fwens......
there's nothing in life that can bring you down except for yourself.
Actions speaks louder than words, character looks better than sight
In this life, we were meant to fall and lose... once hiden and never found
it's how we humans become stronger in our hearts and sensible in our minds
I witness how unfaithfulness played a senseless role in some
which comes along with indulgence of self and a faded face of good will.
Where we ourselves often pray that we live better than the hurtful past
we would be rewarded with a better things in life rather than a disappointing character.
Disappointment doesn't last long to matter,
a proven identity of childishness and pretense doesn't get one far in life
Well, it happens...
think about it.

2006-03-20T20:55:00.000-08:00

2006-03-20T20:20:00.000-08:00

Artifical and Disguising
These actions make me feel like puking
Such disguise and juvenility
Oh! such a pity.....
Of such a quality of blindness and childlike appraisal
It's no wonder isn't it
Satisfying their need of callow desires
For goodness sake...
grow up and act like one
or
aren't you one of them in the first place?
oh! I forgot...

2006-03-19T02:23:00.000-08:00

Story one:

There she sat in that seat
all comfortable and happy
It was a red car that caught her eye
A colour she would never take her eyes on
Turning the angle of where she sat,
it was someone familiar she knew
someone close, someone loved
and there that someone stood cudding with a white puppy
It was a happy smiles that filled that car
A moment of peace, security and love

*beep beep* goes the alarm on the handphone next to my ear

Darn! Why wasn't it real! *Baybee that's a hint for that white dog in future purpleasE?*

Story two:

I heard a lame joke I'm awfully amazed
of how lame one could be as old as he/she gets
It was a sentence of reckless childish-ness and utterly youthful
Too much indulgence can lead to downfall of a maturity level
especially intellectually and street smartness
A full disappointment and an amazement how "young" people think
Looks aint everything as you think you might have
Gosh... where have you been lately?

Comments from people:

1. "Gosh... jackass"
2. "What... lame!"
3. "Why am I not surprise of such immaturity level from someone who's with another"

Story three:

A girl heard a beautiful story of acceptance, how one would love and accept another for who she is. With such great love, this girl broke down in tears with failures and imperfections. She spoke as she cried 'I fell when I lost you'. Reading on, one confessed how she would love her girl in the story, how she would stand side by side, never letting go and picking up thsoe broken pieces. As the girl read the story, she took the tissue to dry those tears and said 'these stories never do come true'. When she picked up that book once again, one spoke of how she would never let her fall once again, never forced girl to be someone else and loving her the way she is.

*Don't get the story? You weren't suppose to. Only the girl would understand.*

Edit: 3am

It's another sleepless night, with little concentration on work
Just a day away to work sweet work, another round of busy week
and hopefully a good weekend ahead.
Reading the stories above bring such thoughts of what wnet through in people's minds
especially in this modern society.
Well, what goes through this head of mine
are theme webs on safety and eggs for easter!
Easter's coming, so is April!
*Hoping and wishing upon no darn star*
that the day would come soon.
I'm hearing the strums of the guitar once again
how 'collide' never fails to bring out that emo side of me
how it could be played repeatedly without a sick feeling
Somtimes... You and I collide for a reason.. it made our love stronger.
Happy Sunday everyone......

2006-03-17T18:02:00.000-08:00

2006-03-16T23:31:00.000-08:00

These are only a quarter of the pictures uploaded
The shutterbug fever will be back tommorrow
for an exclusive entry of
"Lala's turned 23"
*Bleh*

2006-03-16T22:47:00.000-08:00

2006-03-13T23:15:00.000-08:00

As so the so- called SMS invitations are out
Many thanks to the many sweeties who are coming
despite exams/work/holidays the next day
and of course
to Pickles who promises to be happy with Lala from dusk to dawn
to Bao for studying so hard now so that she would come
to Candice despite her training the next day is coming down
(*with exceptions that she'll eat her burger faster this time*)
to Jan *whom i'm crossing my fingers* who can try to get the reservations
and the many many others....
Lala will try to enjoy while Baybee's not here
But Lala knows and remembers
the little surprise baybee gave before she left
*winks*
Missing you my love.....
Come home soon!
Lala is happy for Wednesday is coming!
DESPITE!
tomorroe's early tuition and heading down to school
and of course a mini celebration with my family at night
And on Wed morning, I'm heading back to work for a bit
and coming home to ZZZzzzzzzz
before heading down at night!
It'll be nice...
Pictures will be up when everything reaches this folder of mine!
Good night world...

2006-03-13T19:07:00.000-08:00

2006-03-13T04:22:00.000-08:00

And so....

Lala is happy watching a match
With silly goal misses and terrible mistakes
Pires' still such a hunk
and Henry doing his magic...

What makes me happy and sad?
Lala's proud of the gunners
BUT
I'm not there! Darn!

2006-03-12T11:59:00.000-08:00

The beginning of a new break always leave a room of empty dates to fill
And the usual routine of the big 23 that's coming.
Lala's often sick before it.
And so, a week has past... leaves a restless mind and a lonely heart
But Lala's happy with great fwens, old and new and of course
a baybee that's dotes on me from far.
It has been a bust week, with preparation for the last day of term
Evaluations, clearing up, play practise....
It's no wonder I cancelled on my tuitions for time.
And when Friday came, I packed my things and said
'Darn! Another week of holiday my ass!'
A week since baybee left been TORTURE!
No Dvd kaki, no breakkies and snuggles and of course... not being able to
squeeze and bite! Come home come home!!!!!!! hurry come home!
The weekend started off well, with besties that made time to celebrated Lala's 23
From coffee on Friday night, Cartel and pre rouge on Saturday and
a day out with my lil bao to town, to end off the week.
But that's not all! Baybee's been doting her girl even when she's in Perth
With a new purple polo and a new jacket and underwear.. and still counting!
Lala's feels loved by the people around her!
This Wednesday feels homely yet clubbing...
I'm in for a round of drinks and groove at MOS, ladies night.. why not?
But one week also means, make up tuition, getting ready for new term,
my darlin honey bitch's birthday and hopefully sufficient rest and rest and rest!
I'm counting down to 1st April or hoefully before that for something real special.
A dream, a hope, a love and a desire..... Wait and see...
Hopefully, I'm able to upload those pictures on the blog soon, before it gets outdated!
Enjoy the week ahead... did I mention? Lala's on HOLIDAY!

On a lighter note,

Dear Pickles,
Thanks for making time for me. My Pickles is happy, so is Lala.
As we all expect the unexpected, we cherish them each moment
For making Lala happy, Pickles' such a darlin to get me the dragonfly pendant
and of course indulging in 'PickereeLala's Happy Cam Moments'
My bestie, my gurile.. we have our moments of love and be loved...
that would be the greatest love in our lives.
Thanks for being a special individual in my life,
being there when i'm down, being there when I smile.
I hope to do the same for you too..
especially when you're in Cloud 9 now! *Bleah*
Luff ya!!!! *hugs*
love, Lala

Dear Baybee,
It's only been a week and a day, the torture's killing my brain cells
Thanks for making me a part of your shopping trips!
I can't that special day... and you know what it would be
Despite the little quarrels we have over a distant apart
you know how this love has become, how stronger we are
and how closer the bond gets each time.
As the song goes... "My hump my hump my hump....."
I know the agony of hearing me groove to that song
simply kills those ears of yours... it's been ages since I first heard that song
and up to this day... I'm being an utter brat to kill your ears....
So how? Still wanna come back a not?
Love you baybeee... u're greatly missed!

Catch Lala's happy moments soon on bloggy!

2006-03-11T01:44:00.000-08:00

As distance and despair stumble upon this restless mind
we find running as better option in life
I come to realise how much distance brought me here
and how far one would run for you...
The heart and the mind would never leave one place
Strength, determintion and the will power to finish this race
No one never said it was going to be easy
But keep in mind, of those who comfort and love
their strength and support keeps the mind stronger and hearts fonder
No one said I'm leaving this race, or I'm giving up
Against all odds of wind and change
this race is what I wanted, needed and hoped
No one ever said it would be easy, nothing is
Don't give up watching, as the sidelines are my determination
to seek you at the end of my race was my only dream
I'm fast and I'm building
Don't give me up....
I'm trying to be that runner for us this while
cause my prize.....
is my road walked with you...

2006-03-05T00:36:00.000-08:00

When I entered a room of memories
I fell back down
and those tears I held back tightly
fell like a breaking glass
I told myself "be strong"
but those words often said yet uncontrollable
I thank the friends around who came
afraid that I would fall right there
My bestie who called back to check on me
I have lost the battle, the fight to be strong
deep inside lies a weak soul
longing a mising piece of me
it's only been six hours apart
Could I go back to where we were
and asked you to stay
I'm missing you.....
so often said yet this time it hurt so much
Staring into this room of mine
reminds me of times with you
Where are you my baybee....
Please come home, I need you more than I ever knew I could.
Bring me home...
**********
Arsenal's playing a good match
yet my mind's unfocused
I bought another Arsenal cap today
and Baybee was with me
I bought a beanie for Sydney's trip todae
and Baybee was with me
Could you be with me tomorrow too?
i promise no Esprite shops *bleh*
purlease?

2006-03-04T23:56:00.000-08:00

2006-03-03T17:42:00.000-08:00

For the first time this year
I'm home at 5pm
with a more relaxed and profound mind
I finally got my thoughts moving despite the drowsy medication
I'm off in an hour or two to Ikea with baybee
to add some shelves, frames and candles to the shopping cart
It's the last night we would be spending before she flies to Perth tomorrow
*bleh*
And yesh, I'm running a little late and I'm drop dead hungry!
I'm packed for the sunday with work deadlines
1. Children's script for Pinocchio play
2. Worksheets
3. Lesson plans
4. Oh! Time of the month to pay the bills
5. Fixing up my web cam
6. and leaving some time to upload my Nano
Other than that,
I would be drinking plenty of some white fungus drink my mum been brewing
and an addition dose of medication
Congested lungs and short breaths aint doing me good
Maybe one day o2 would die on me
maybe someday I won't remember this
Maybe one day.. someday...
Lala's out
Be back on Sunday with pictures!
Happy Friday!

2006-03-02T23:05:00.000-08:00

In the midst of this flu bugging night
I find myself induging in the song "Collide"
The strums of guitar where I often dream I could
I'm counting down to 7.50pm this Saturday
Where my baybee leaves on a jetplane
The days passing too quickly for us
not a single moment to stop for a breather.
I'll be spending some time with baybee tomorrow
from some ikea shopping to night cycling
My bestie comforted me on MSN recently
not being sad to cry
for I should cherish the time I have right now.
For my bestie, in time for need and anger
I'm here for you as much as I know you're here for me
the medicines taking effect
my eyes feel blinded by the reflection
and my throat sores for tonight
It's just a night for the flu bugger
Did it catch you too?

2006-03-02T22:41:00.000-08:00

Upload some pictures of last week, due to the fact that I'm sick and I'm on MC today
The flu bugger has given me some time to put pictures together and blog!
BUT!!!! my CS2 is giving me problems...
Well, enjoy the pictures while the dosage of medicine gets my mind blank!

2006-03-02T22:39:00.000-08:00

2006-02-27T23:25:00.000-08:00

A tempted moment of opening my CS2 to put up some pixs
My tired eyes and weak body form aint doing too well
Running from one class to four classes
even a perfect weekend aint good enough to handle
I had a good weekend
A night at MOS
to a dinner surprise on Saturday planned by baybee
and with extra surprises from Pickle and Bao
thank you
This birthday is more than enough to remember now
the shutterbug would be up soon
*promises*
Nitey!

2006-02-25T15:30:00.000-08:00

Stole a site from bestie pickle.....

Abuse me, hate me, love me....

I'm sleepy and drowsy

and I'm counting down to a date I have with my baybee...

2006-02-24T20:31:00.000-08:00

I have a birthday date with baybee tomorrow
Clueless about this birthday surprise from her
BUT...
I can't wait!
As I groove to the beats of Benny Benassi
I'm 2 hours away to a night @MOS
with my grooving babes, my sex guru and my hottie baybeee...
It's Friday! Yipeeee!!!

2006-02-18T23:42:00.000-08:00

Where we often find ourselves

in deepest thoughts

and simplity heart

naive and sudden

the urge of being found lies within one

when reality sometimes collide with time

the uncertainity and doubtful questions

awaits the night to end for today

Sitting by this profuse mood

I will continue to type as I touch the keys

Seeing many imaginary lines drawn all over

the perplexity lands many into mystery of how it works

Searching within our soul

confusion state overcomes the fear

Fear of losing, finding and losing once again

protecting one self of getting hurt and emotionally drained

It's ok to tear once a while, yet be grateful and brave

to reach for the better things and dreams

Where everything in those shades looks so empty and dark

The reflect of the light makes us stronger and fight back to reality

and move on in the right sensible direction

There is a certain place and time for that sunlight

Be patient and it will shine for you

I'm a dreamer

those pieces of mine I often pick

I fixed them into that jigsaw of four walls

and there I see

that's all I could be

it was just me

2006-02-18T10:21:00.000-08:00

While suffering a massive insomia weekend
the little gurlie has set her tired eyes surfing her favourite webbies
She is so shocked by her love for the following sites
that it kills her baybee sometimes
I think I have learnt an addiction to fill....
my wardrobe, shoe rack and the pleasure of my eyes

The wardrobe pleasure one
The wardrobe pleasure two

The shoe rack addiction one
The shoe rack addiction two

Pleasure of just peeking

And so, I'm happy the addiction is undercontrol
with little temptation to overcome
Waiting for baybee to wake up while I finish up my work!
It's Saturday and a lazing day once again!

2006-02-18T01:58:00.000-08:00

Another week's zooming past

hope you enjoyed the written poem by my kids @work and myself

It's amazing how I managed to get through the week without the Mc

and how I just tahan this darn cough of mine

Looking into the first two hours of Saturday, I asked myself

"How did time pass me so quickly?"

Been planning out routes and spending for the trips

and somehow we figured Sydney was place more to see and remember

rather than Melbourne

So what's hopefully to be confirmed soon: Flying to Sydney,

driving to Melbourne for a 4-5 days trip

head back to sydney about about 2 weeks

and last stop driving to the blue mountains before flying back

The excitement is building the tension of saving and working hard for money

Calculating, able to afford and have balance to carry on saving.

Work's been on the tough side lately, with the little time of preparation

I'm grateful for baybee for sending me to work everyday

and making sure I get enough sleep due to the bad cough I had

A week before this, late nights to prepare something special

and this Sat, I'm back to mugging with work once again

Valentine's day was great....

1. Making Chocolate coated strawberries with the kiddos

2. Having to have the kids feel proud about their poem

3. Meeting Baybee for a nice dinner

4. In the midst of dinner came a special surprise.....

*A love me or hate me moment, where baybee was shocked to her wits*

Giving a funny grin, I remembered that look on that face and said "baby!!!"

Yesh, my baybee is now a proud owner of the ipod Nano.

Despite the deal was 'NO PRESENTS'

Come on: Welcome to the Nano club!

5. And to end the day, the dvd player played 40 year old virgin

which I only managed to finish watching 2 days back!

Speaking about pressies, I have received 4 presents today

for this 23rd exclusively from baybee who won't be in Singapore in March

Now, I'm the proud owner of....

1. white handphone cover to avoid mixed up with our similar phones

2. A BMW ... in ten years *winks*

3. a white bag I've been hunting

4. a CD player which connects to my Nano

and last of all... something special that lead to many tearful smiles

5. A globe shaped jigsaw puzzle with the picture of Ariel the mermaid

Something sentimental relating to my childhood

and a jigsaw I used to have of the cartoon

that never could be completed due to a missing piece.

Thank You LOVE! *Sweetest smiles, hugs and kisses*

I can't wait for the 25th: the special day

2006-02-12T23:11:00.000-08:00

I love family dinners, where cousins gather
and the food we tumble upon despite that growing tummy
just when we thought we could escape the after effect new year belly
Here we are indulging too much into my mummy's cooking
I've completed some of my work thanks to baybee
Wise brains, fast hands and a good concentration of magnets!
My kiddos's valenetine's pressie for their parents are almost ready
Yesh, month of Feb: Love is in the air
Where expensives roses are such a hit and dinner tables are filled with candles
As for myself, I haven't got a clue... as viewed by many and myself
It's just another day.
I'm looking forward for the June break where I'll set off with my bags
for a journey I longed years back
The destination is set: Sydney and Melbourne
You might think it's not big deal. But coming from a not well to do family.
A trip like this is a dream for me since I was young.
With advises and guides from people, plans are underway to make that great escape
As you know, teachers can only get holidays in June and December
how often could we think that tomorrow's future doesn't matter
speaking from an working adult and of course emphasing that day that I will turn 23
Each moment is important to every step we take.
The future lies within each self, it's how we plan and carry them out.
I discovered the sides of life more clearly and how it works.
Acceptance, patience, courage, maturity, love, fate, time, life, despair, anxiety, stress
how could we ever comprehend all of these within a lifespan of our lives
For now, Avril's still a busy individual who never get ever busier.
Work work and endless workload, I'm still happy doing them despite some breakdown nights
But, I'll work my ass off... just for that one getaway... one dream,
and one moment in my life I achieved within my limits...
Next stop: An arsenal match? Hmmmmmmmm........... *hopefully in 4 years*
Why 4 years? that's when I'm 27! 28 sounds a lil too old! *bleh*
Nights out!

2006-02-11T13:12:00.000-08:00

they say that life is in these hands

you give everything you give yourself away

you give and still you choke

and find yourself running for the door

Currently listening to: Dishwalla 'Home'

2006-02-11T11:14:00.000-08:00

And finally before I start the mugging work process once again

This could be one of those moments I can sit and blog abit

Uploading like a hundred pictures that were taken within a week

and I wonder how this com of mine is gonna hang on much longer

Haven't been home for dinner the entire week

Not a single time I could sit on the dining table of even the sofa

to sit, look at my parents or even have a meal

in recent development of my work process

it resulted me into a *work*bring home work*less time work*sleep and daze* mode

Apologizes to the many peeps whom I was suppose to meet up

and of course to baybee for being understanding

in trying to fit her schedule into mine

The constant attempts of breaking down is too great

I'm holding on to the light where it often fades on me

I see the world around me growing with me

and seeing how in a few years I'll be independent

with a good income and of course good job.

It's been a while since I thought about the future and what lies ahead.

I could be happy

satisfied and contented with the little dreams I have

It doesn't take wealth, a high paying job or possession

to make this happen

It's about me as an individual, to grow and learn

to fall and to fall

to pick myself up and to learn

I'm turning 23 in a month....

*what else can an adult think of when she's blogging*

2006-02-04T14:19:00.000-08:00

What do you get when you leave a pack of cards with 6 individuals

with a desire to earn back winnings just winthin a night

that's 4 hours of bun luck till 2am for you

With Fel's insane theory of CNY: Eat more, Get drunk and Be broke

It was a great night despite Chloe's disappearing act for the night

Of course, many happy smiles for Fel and me.....

Winnings oh winnings!

"the men just don't get it", do they?

Well.... a Friday night like this

with an analysing& bitching dinner with Bao and Joey

this day only comes once a year

Happy Lala, not so broke Lala and sleepy Lala

2006-02-02T23:36:00.000-08:00

2006-01-30T23:53:00.000-08:00

No surprises how the New year just went by with a blink of an eye.
Exactly 12 hours ago, I was awaken with the many tasks I was given to help my mum.
Here I am at 11.41pm, blogging! What the hell don't you think?
I'm grateful for the extended holidays till Thursday
With an additional day of holiday unlike most other working individuals
It isn't a holiday for Teacher Avril this new year
yet, I'm piled up with a new theme of planning and evaluations work load I have to clear!
Was planning to head down Zouk tonight for Paul Van Dyk
but the insufficient sleep brings down the good spirits of a Martini lychee and good music
While the bed awaits me, and waiting for Joey to wash up,
blogging is the best way out in killing time and boredom
Was thinking back of certain things I said and done these few days
I broke a self promise of not to overdo things as a result of complicating over the most
simple things in life. I must be reeling over certain events that resulted me banging myself
in bed and thinking how stupility had overcome my thoughts that were right on track.
It's been a while since I heard the acoustic music strumming on my itunes
and how I wondered and wished how these fingers would work fine on a guitar
From Lifehouse, Maroon 5 to John Mayer and Howie day, they never sounded so darn good!
How often do you get yourself sitting on your chair with good music and an imaginary KTV
atmosphere in your room that you create by singing your lungs out
while releasing those mental blockage that has been left in the mind.
Been trying to get my foot down at emotions and life,
so easily to say I would, to hard to even think about it.
Things in life aren't always a perfect clear cut,
especially when it perplexes the unsound and lost mind of many
I'm a self admit fine example, which many find it hard to comprehend.
As a side of my life, I was left tangled and helpless
with each prayer asking to be stronger individual
to do the right things and say the right words.
What's ever right and wrong? Who was there to judge or to point the mistakes
Countless moments I blamed myself for certain events in life
that I often found myself being blamed for even thinking that way,
that the road we travel isn't always smooth, yet sometimes people we stop and meet,
creates the lil hiccups and the wrong turns where we regret and ponder over the years
I guess everyone of us have our moments of success, love and happiness,
but they will all pass in time. Keeping these in your life will depend on how much
one is willing to sacrifice and reach for these good intentions in life.
God knows how I could never take another disappointment back to back
with the many sacrifices and love I willingly gave, yet left me here tangled with scars.
As far as time has passed by us, we often find ourselves watching these memories
flashing back in a slow motion process that we begin to pinch ourselves to find that
we've been caught within the illusion and dreams instead of reality.
We're all learning... very much learning the right way of life
Browsing through a book that Egeria handed me years back
when I was at my lowest. The book titled "Lost and found"
keeps people on track of searching the sliver linings in life.
How we often find ourselves losing people and things in life,
yet the return results might sweep us to somewhere away from the
hurtful reality, to a place of a better life and a different view of our lives.
An emotional blogging and thoughts entry for the night,
I find myself opening to a new horizon in life that we don't often see.
Nothing in life is forever. There is never one who said it was.
It's how we individuals lose and find the simplicity and comfort and life
and how certain things happen for a particular reason we can't seem to find
It's one of those nights, one of these nights....
where we tell ourselves, it'll be okay.

2006-01-30T05:57:00.000-08:00

2006-01-28T00:33:00.000-08:00

A moment ago

my eyes were closing

my head was nodding

and my nose was swelling

At this moment

water has perked me up a lil

an inspiration to blog after a week

But all of a sudden

I yawned....

and it's back to square one

I think the bed has a better effect than this blogging.

I'm a self proclaimed daisy pie

that all I longed for is just a laze and a daze....

*Promise to upload the recent pictures soon! look out...*

2006-01-21T09:40:00.000-08:00

I need to learn how to sleep
without waking up at 6am and 8am
Lost track of the days
that silly me thought I had work!
Darn! Bring me back to my dreams...

2006-01-20T23:31:00.000-08:00

And so they say
the best time to head to Chinatown is in the afternoon
Well, think again?
with the hot glaring sun and the terrible heat
Teacher Avril got the dehydration symptoms and a major feet ache!
Where's a massage when I most need it so badly
My baybee's in Malaysia for a lil family trip
despite the desperates pleading of wanting to go too
Darn! Friday's "fun" instead at work
Well, but baybee's being a sweetie in helping me with my shopping there
while I get tied down with the work load
I have to clear by the new year's
The weekend's here with the new dvds bought from there
and a night cycling with baybee tomorrow!
Finally spending some time together away from my work
Happy weekends....
A thought of MOS is quite a temptation this sat with Bao!
Hrmp! Shall we baybee?

2006-01-19T23:28:00.000-08:00

And so this is a late post of shutterbug moments
I'm finallly able to log on this com of mine
thanks to my Nano being low batt
my Digi is too full on pictures
and my phone needs some mp3!
Been so utterly busy, that once I stepped into my bed
nothing tempts me but my bed!
and counting down and disciplining my body
I need my body resting by 11.30!
Too much work, too many kiddos' party invitations and so on...
It's gonna be long day tommrrow...
Water play for the little kiddos in the morning
and Chinatown in the afternoon for my BIG kiddos
and tuition at night
Yes, a trip out of school and hopefully no dreadful moments
where I would wanna strangle their heads!
Been speaking and screaming too much,
teaching a K2 class is no joke
with kids unable to even write properly, or even lazy to sit up
Teacher Avril is as strict as she can be
thanks to the high expectations of what my mum had of me.
I'm losing this voice with an upset tummy
down again with some flu I predict
BUT fear not!
Pipakao is on the way, hoping to fight these stoopid germs
for I have a night cycling maggie mee night with Joey on Saturday
and a lamp lunch date with the family
Till then
Joey's mummy's song list is rocking on my itunes...
the good old tunes, the oldies, the love songs...
Awwwwwww.....

2006-01-15T11:07:00.000-08:00

A million whats and a million hows

when one tried to understand

yet wasn't given a chance

One never went away

but staying right here

one was helplessly empty

2006-01-14T18:00:00.000-08:00

Gardening? You got to be kidding!
But lazing on this hot Saturday....
that's what the sun's been tempting me to do
Been busy here and there today
and finally ... POOf!
Here I am on my chair
enjoying my icy water, cool aircon and great jazz
But before I realised, I look again at my clock
Shit! Joey's picking me in half an hour.
I hate the sun
I loved the rain
Please come back some day
XOXO
your greatest rain fan

2006-01-11T23:33:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I sat down and actually think what to write
with the short week ahead and the cold weather
I'm not surprised that I've been sneezing and coughing
Saturday was a party for Joey's bestie FEL at Zouk
with a nice dinner treat at Marche's
we ended the night at Zouk
with Dave Seaman spinning and funny people running?
Oopsy, I mean dancing!
A lazy wet Sunday staying home and chilling with baybee!
It's back to school!
An sms came around midnight
with the news of the death of my ex literature teacher from KC
with the numerous amount of sms I got within the morning
it was enough to fill up my inbox
Drove down to St Joseph's church with Joey for the prayers
Many ex kcians, many familar faces, many shocked feelings
It was an unexpected news,
which sadden many of those who was touched by her in one way or another
For me personally, she was the one who made me see Lit differently
with a dramatic teaching method, most of us could never fall asleep in her class
and of course from a 40 plus in Lit, I remember shooting up to a 80 marks
Many memories of her police action stories and of course the discipline she had on us
It was a night we remembered the old days, the school days,
the days where this kind lady came into our lives
Thank you Miss Devi, you'll always be in my prayers
For the night of many kcians there, it's like a meeting up session
with old mates and teachers.
Don't you miss the old days Joey?
where the word senior and junior were such hot topics? *Grinz*
Spent the Hari raya holiday with a short make over for Joey's lil brat
Lil brat = Larissa *Joey's lil sis*
and of course her darling and Joey.
Ended up snipping off a little of my hair and of course a great change for Larissa
We ended up dining at Swensen with the young love birds and Joey's parents.
*winks* Yours truly has achieved the target of shopping within half an hour
A coat for raining days and running shoes...
with addition of discounts going on... why not?
It's a good buy!
It's two days to weekends and hopefully able to meet up with my honey bitch!
and getting my ass down to the gym on sunday morning!
11.30pm, with my nano, digi and my hp being low batt!
I have to swallow at least 4 pills before heading off to bed!
Till then, where I can sit here and type the night away again
I'm enjoying Michael Buble singing on my itunes
and I'm loving the rainy nights...
Good night!

2006-01-07T16:17:00.000-08:00

A first Friday of the year: never been better
This whole week has never been so stressful and busy. A new year, a new start,
new classes, new kids, more work and less time.
Thank goodness for the short weeks at the beginning of the new year,
I get in between breaks for me to just sit down and just think
Been talking to my bestie lately, sometimes I wished I found the right words
to make her feel comfort and make her feel like there is love not only from one
but she has to try to start anew to look for love that she deserves.
But, who am I to say all these, to make her see what I do.
2005 has past, a year of tears and pain, of loss and hurt
It has been a year of myself as an individual
growing, maturing and learning from mistakes.
Events that has happened in the last year has made me see
that fate makes things happen, yet fate makes things twist
how things happened for a reason and how prayers are answered
It's how people takes things for granted, and how sometimes
some just dont deserve your love, sacrifice and apologizes and wishes.
I never stopped beliving in love, who does?
Maturity lies within how people see you and how you make things right
Who would be right to say they are matured enough to handle the word love
No one's perfect, neither am I
I learnt to believe, that I will be loved
by one who cares and believe right in their eyes:
That this is you, this is the person I accept to be as and this is who I love
Despite the many times I would wish my bestie to move on and look around
I stopped and thought... how she felt as how I was before
unable to connect the emotions and love the heart and the mind has
It makes one ponder about the memories, yet leave one sleepless and hurt in the night
It's how we fought for the words, 'fate, patience, time and love'
But who would ever understand these four words
who could ever wait and love, sacrifice yet hurt
for another so much, and despite it all
It just wasn't enough, or never be enough
When would be enough or satisfied? Or make another see what's right?
As I wrote this, this song came upon my itunes
I stopped and listened, and heard carefully of the lyrics of this song
Read it, maybe you might understand

Finally I figured out, but it took a long, long time
And now there's a turnabout,
Maybe cause I'm trying

There's been times, I'm so confused
All my roads, they lead to you
I just can't turn and walk away

It's hard to say,
What it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always, be with you
But words can't say, And I can't do
Enough to prove, it's all for you

I thought I'd seen it all,
'Cause it's been a long, long time
But then we'll trip and fall, wondering if I'm blind

There's been times,
I'm so confused
All my roads, they lead to you
I just can't turn and walk away

It's hard to say, what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always, be with you
But words can't say, and I can't do
Enough to prove, It's all for you

Rain comes pouring down
Falling from blue skies
Words without a sound
Coming from your eyes

Finally I figured out, but it took a long, long time
And now there's a turnabout,
Maybe cause I'm trying
There's been times, I'm so confused
All my roads, They lead to you
I just can't turn, And walk away

It's hard to say, What it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always, Be with you
But words can't say, And I can't do
Enough to prove, It's all for you

Hard to say
Hard to say it’s all for you

And so it's hard to say or even see or understand
Would they ever know that it's all for them
My bestie, my fwen...
for the many times you felt that people don't understand
pray and believe that someone out there,
have been in that very situation, that pain and that tears
I'm one of them.
As much as many would say time would heal the pain
what else within that pain would be difficult to understand or comfort
Sometimes, we hope for comfort and strength
or happiness and thoughts
I guess, for these moments we pray and wonder
it would be someday we would both have it
and smile to one another and say:
"It was worth the time, the pain, the sacrifice, the tears and the love"
*hugs*
Another 3 hours before I'm heading out,
A night out with Joey and a birthday @Zouk to attend
A time away from work, thoughts and books!
and definately a Sunday @Queensway to buy my running shoes!
And so the question pops this weekend for you readers
"What's your views on cradle snatchers?"
*Apparently, a hot topic and a common scene I see these days*
Post a comment... let's do some research on these cradle minds!

2006-01-05T00:22:00.000-08:00

New year's day before heading to Joey's place

A lil shutterbug moment before we headed outside Zouk with slippers!
*just to say hello to people*

"Can we go now?"

Two silly 'children' trying to fix the chicken little toy

Two brats I lurve!

My baby brat I spoil!

Finally some spare time to blog and bitch
does it rhyme?
Been so damn busy ever since work began
and here I am thinking of the next holidays
And now..... I have the sudden urge of
stopping this crap and say goodnight
Too daze and tired to put up the New year pictures I had with Joey
so here they are, unphotoshopped with little display
till then.............
I still wonder
was thanks all that could be said?

2005-12-30T23:07:00.000-08:00

Lil Bao and Lala! thanks for being such a crazee bestie!

A lil comfort for a "Crime story" night

The dolor, Lala shutters and the Bao talker!

A lazy Friday night, just spending time with my family
before the new year's eve with joey
*A quick update of the week*
A quiet Christmas with my family and over at joey's
And there the holidays became overloaded work
spring cleaning, packing, planning and more cleaning
over a period of 3 days till late in the evening
All ready for the new year, new kids, and new classes for lil teacher!
It's just 2 days to the new year
thinking about how the year has been
ups and downs, tears and laughter
resolutions aren't always something good
I'm much stronger and wiser in my thinking
more matured and sensible
I aint who I used to be
I believed more in myself, God and prayers
I believed in myself, my ability to strive and to love myself
despite those moments when I'm down
I think about how things happen for a reason
and how I grow as an individual from those things that happen
I saw how fate played a twist
and how good things never last
no one ever said it would
time played a part as much as I would go far for time
but would time ever give you that chance
New changes for a healthier life in 2006
going according to planned
Smoking season has ended for good
gym every sat to build and train back my injured ankle
continue adding those extra tuition pay to the savings
never easy being one of the sole bread winner and of course my trip to aust
Lil Lala has grown up! with a lil tease from Joey of being Daddy's gal
It would be a good new year
with more work and less time
with more friends and more laughter
hopefully lesser tears and better relations
a lil more family time and love with Joey
Happy new year everyone!
Greetings till 2006.....
till we meet again in the new year

2005-12-27T23:00:00.000-08:00

I tried to understand
I smiled to know
I hear it every hour
I tried to surpress all
I see the clock ticking
I count the moments left
I never saw a day without a call
or just a moment of silence between us
Time....
How much time do I have left?
Little moments to have you here
when you last told me u're leaving
A simple day, a simple time
Would there a day one would ever understood
what time was?
what friends were?
and what reasons of calls were?
The urge of giving up is just here
I'm tired
All I needed was time after a day's work
a simple time from someone
uninterrupted time
But
I guess the day would be the day I lost
Time...
How far would you go for time?

2005-12-24T16:37:00.000-08:00

For my love... on this Christmas eve... 

For all I've been blessed with in this life
There was an emptiness in me
I was imprisoned by the power of gold
With one honest touch, you set me free

Let the world stop turning
Let the sun stop burning
Let them tell me love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true
In this life, I was loved by you

For every mountain I have climbed
Every raging river crossed
You were the treasure that I longed to find
Without your love I would be lost

Let the world stop turning
Let the sun stop burning
Let them tell me love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true
In this life i was loved by you

In this life, I was loved by you

For every moment we share....
It's amazing how you make me feel 
Everyday seems like heaven 
just by knowing I was loved by you 
For the times you stood by me and  helped me pick up the broken pieces that once fell
For the moments you told me to cry  and not hide inside
For every reason we fough and laughed about our lives
and the days we spent with one another
Thank you

2005-12-24T00:14:00.000-08:00

Just before I left the house
itunes got me grooving to Justin Timberlake
while I got a little carried away with the pictures
Looking back at Joey's grad!
Lala's lack of space for pictures!
in reminder that Christmas and New year are coming!
An evening with baybeee
the upgraded parkway, the busy Lala
while Joey gets a handful of bags
we get giggy busy with last minute presents
too much shampoo and of course
A row of Lala's fav shops!
ALL LINED IN A ROW!
plus an additional ladies restroom for after shopping piss!
A drive back for an exchanged present for Pickleberry
and a little chat with baybeee to end off the night.
It's finally Christmas Eve!
Good night world

2005-12-23T13:18:00.000-08:00

And while I get busy with the new uploaded pictures on the bloggy
(Check it out if u're free)
my baybee joey's catching the Kingkong at Cini playing mahjong
a family day in a funky way!
2 days to Christmas and a whole lot sneezes I'm getting!
A good start to this festive season, my dearest couz got accepted to St Gab's Sec
and not forgetting I finally cleared my room, made the Tiramisu AND...
Charged my Nano *Grinz! it nearly died on me!*
This is including the present I bought for Baybee and myself!
This Christmas would be a quiet one, away from the crowd,
away from the celebrations! Just wines and booze, friends and comfort
Somehow as we grow, a quiet night of celebrating is more appropritate
than those crowd noises, head banging body squeezing young people
who simply looked like they never clubbed in their lives!
But what can I say... 18, 19 years old who just managed to get their official note of
heading to clubs, getting all high and dancing like they never did before
What to say, we have all been there and done that...
aint such a triller like how it is to most young people!
New year's eve been planned out for baybee and me...
a quiet evening, a quiet night... spending just quality time to welcome the new year
*Smiles*
I'm off to catch "all about you"
Thanks to my baybee for buying me her first Chinese show!
*due to massive consideration if I should even get it for 2 months!*
to one and all...
Merry Christmas and a Happy new year!

2005-12-21T16:03:00.000-08:00

I don't need anything from you

2005-12-20T00:16:00.000-08:00

I replied with a nice grin on my phone
it types: "I want Joey to stay. Haha! shouldn't you ask Joey what I want instead?
with a kidding laugh at the end
"the Oh oh message tone beeps"
Well Bao, you can try!
Kidnap her in a box and wrapped a ribbon around!
Send it to Pasir Ris and you have made me happy
P/s: Don't forget to put more stamps in case the post man says
"Overweight parcel, please send back!"
But thinking of presents..
I think I have completed what I need for the year
1. My Ipod Nano (Definately a heartbreaker on my paycheck!)
2. My havaianas sandals
3. My Starck watch and my charm bracelet from Joey
4. My 7610 (present from joey's daddy who planned such a high impossible interest rate )
5. My Digi and its crumpler pouch
6. My lamp from aussie
7. My countless shopping trips @Esprite and not being able to get my white skirt!
8. My davidoff perfume (from joey's daddy)
9. A picture of my grandma by my bedside
10. On a personal note which money could never buy
strength and courage
love and care
trust and fwenship
respect and acceptance
sacrifice and tears
truthfulness and loyalty
maturity and comfort
Work and fwenship
family and besties
and
a love that can never be replaced
This Christmas:
I wished ....
time and strenth
trust and respect
acceptance and comfort
less tears, more laughter and being happy with who I am
Loving myself, to love others
to forget the hurtful and remember the ones that care
successful and organised
catching up with my degree
keeping my family safe and sound, happy and jolly
to guide my baybee in her decisions in life
and of course to be happy
my besties gurlies whom I simply lurve to be as they are!
to my bestie whom I simply care about
I hope she seeks love in herself and that someday someone out there
will cherish the love, care and patience she has for someone she loves
*U know who you are*
For the new friends I made, many thanks for being there
and making me see how life can be simple and happy
wished Mama was here despite the many dreams of her
and of course
my aussie trip in June
*mountains, koala, shopping, driving, the marine life, farms*
"Do you see what I see?"
6 days to Christmas
12 days to New Year
14 days to a brand new year of work
*Hello 2006, Goodbye 2005*
(And to realise, I'm 23 next year! Bleah!)

2005-12-18T23:30:00.000-08:00

* The Sunday * Too long a wait* Nuggets * Simei * Masking Tape for Joey * No nice heels
(with disappointment) * Hello Kyle and Wanrou * A zoom drive to Church * A sleepy mass
("Joey! Get outta of the car") * Nice Green tea * A zoom drive back to Simei * A candle light dinner@ Jack's place * Too many aeroplanes for Joey! * Christmas pressies for my tuition kids * A good talk after a walk * Rosa's calls with good news for Christmas and New year! * Taxi taxi * Good night baybeeee * Hello to my folks at home! * Testing chocolates for mummy * Waiting for the match to begin * Random blogging * Hello Stranger * The Nano charges while the iTune plays * Where's baybeeee? * Bugis shopping tomorrow after tuition (purlease baybeee?) *

2005-12-17T16:07:00.000-08:00

This is what it read on my screen

You're soon to be getting something new, something festive, something that'll fit you without a doubt. What is this gift the cosmos has to give you? Some hints: It's not any particular color, it's one size fits all (it looks good on everyone) and it's something you'll definitely want to return. That's right -- it's love, the best present ever. Whether it's coming from friends, family, a sweetheart and/or the world in general, be ready to give it right back.

And as I read it, the phone with a unknown number
"Hello"
Ahhhhhhh... that familiar voice!
My bestie is finally back home!!!!
and I'm dying to see her later! *with a note from her that I'm the first she called*
and not forgetting Ben and Jerry's ice cream for lunch
while having a good chat with a ex gf of mine
It's been a good day so far!
Counting down the hours to see Joey! *Yipeeee*
I can't wait!!!!

2005-12-17T15:12:00.000-08:00

She can now alas see through you
put aside the grieve of losing you
however she holds a belief
that you possess no such grieve
She sees you now in a different light
a stronger more focused light that shines upon you
you spell of pride and prejudice
you possess no urge to rekindle the light
not of love but of innocent friendship
you treat them without the curse of that failed love
you smile, laugh, talk with them
and should she stop pursuing this weak light
the light would immediately fall dim
and die away amidst the thick darkness
She sees clearly now how to do things
you steer clear of her
you do not want anymore of her
not the love and neither the friendship
you want only of God and anything else
all except her
you do not shed a tear
you do not fall apart in emotions
you see no reason to do so
you feel her is long gone
from your heart it has dispersed
into millions of shattered shards
She owns nothing but a kind heart
a heart that yearns for friendship
of equal treatment as with others
She knows she's not wanted
so she hides away in her corner
of darkness and sadness and regret
She shuns away when she realises
She is not wanted anymore
so the light flickers and then
just disappear into the dark
further into the silence
and deeper into the deep endless
sorrow and regret...

A classical literature that captured my heart years back

Come to think of it, I loved Literature

being a convent girl,

it's not everyday you have Literature as one of your subject

and of course taking it as one of your O Level!

Gosh! When was the last time I heard the word "O'level". From the classical works of Jane Austen, the story have proved the most infinitely adaptable to the screen. Looking back at the days of KC, most of us dread the subject and the teacher, the essays we had to write, the analysis we have to brainstorm. It was obviously your luck if you had the writing charm to get the grades. For me as an individual, I only enjoyed the books of Literature. From Romeo & Juliet, Pride and Prejudice to a much favourite Merchant of Venice

(Thanks to my sister for easy updated notes that she left in her book)

Yesterday's movie was a test of understanding and of course patience, dragging parts of the story that kept many eyes in those cinema shut for a moment and as the story moves,

it shows the battle of sexes between the characters, marriage, respect, money, family and as one of the reviews commented "The hate that dare not speak its name is, of course, love."

How the caption of the movie just leads mind to wonder and many hearts to shatter.

"Sometimes the last person on earth you want to be with,

is the one person you can't live without"

In reality we see, could we ever be in that last person or that one person

I had a friend who's been in love with another more than she ever expected she could be

What she could never had was a chance, to make another happy as a mate

A special friendship, a complicated heart, were there moments of love or lust

Matters of the heart, which one could never understand. As we tell ourselves or our peers how much time will heal and let us/them see how love works or how fate twist. It's a feeling easier said than done. What's left for us all is to ease the confused mind and pick up the broken pieces that we wondered "Did the pieces ever fall in the first place?"

I guess....

sometimes

.....................................

2005-12-16T13:50:00.000-08:00

Inspired by the movie "Hitch" which I finally managed to catch on Dvd
The sentences ahead have permanently made my thoughts wonder a little
The movie, like the ordinary... the guy ends up with the lady
What moves my mind to smile... What a guy who was once a coward to stand up and
face reality, to pick up the pieces of what he lost and took the courage to fix them all together.
Will Smith played a awesome role in being the "dick doctor" in other words.
I have completed the book called "Landscape of dreams" by Maggie Taylor.
Described as a comtemporary exploration of the Surrealist world view,
the photo collages and how they produce beauty and intriguing emotional impact on
reader like me. I'm a sucker for art, films, paintings, designs
and how I wanted to ever be in this line. But, sad to say I'm a confessed amateur individual
who simply can't draw professionally for art. Well, maybe kids simple drawings like animals, and other objects, that would take me an extra mile in focusing on the art piece,
complete it and have tons of pencil shavings all over the table.
Looking at what I have written, I found a made no sense.
A rambling on a Friday, while waiting for time to pass by, another hour till I go for my date. As one would say, "it would be just like the first".
I'm still in the daze of dating and knowing another, what's good about it?
I'm not a coward to believe and see what's out there for me and who are the friends and people who shows their true heart to care and love. What is love? Don't want to go through that topic of love. Immature love or true love?
Only you would know, only you can figure them out yourself.
I'm off for a great movie and a lovely date with yours truly. *Would it be like the first?*

2005-12-15T14:52:00.000-08:00

2005-12-15T14:50:00.001-08:00

2005-12-15T14:49:00.000-08:00

2005-12-13T12:38:00.000-08:00

And here I am, back of this seat of mine
Been having such a great time these 2 weeks
that I lost track of time and of course the lack of blogging.
Managed to blogged up just a couple of pictures
while waiting for more from Cernie, Rosa, Nic, jadey and Shingy
Okay.. that's a long list to collect from!
Too much partying for the week and of course one more tonight
3 dec: A queer's night @Happy. Too many men. Too hot to handle. Too queer and happy.
6th dec: Tuesday @Thumper. Too many ladies. Too many kisses on Chloe. Too high and dance.
8th dec: Her story @Zouk. Too many awards. Ladies and bad stripping. Martinis smooths me.
13th dec: Parents are coming home! While I'm off to Joey's grad and a fashion show after that. Another party on for this tonight.
These 5 days been really special
especially with you
spending some quality time despite knowing
that time is running short at hand
Thanks for these days
I'm missing my Pickleberryfairy who's off to Aussie
I hope I see your post card soon and not only sending it block 478!
I'm just 10 blocks away!
For now....
Wait up for the pictures!
* More thumper pictures with Rosa
* More Jadey's bbq pictures
*Joey's design work and grad pictures!

Yawn.... waiting for joey's return home
Yummy lunch awaits the both of us
potato salad, sausages and Ben & Jerry's ice cream!

2005-12-13T12:30:00.000-08:00

2005-12-13T12:25:00.000-08:00

2005-12-13T12:24:00.000-08:00

2005-12-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

I miss you
it's been a quiet night
I whispered I love you
But you can't hear me
Were you thinking of me too?

2005-12-07T22:28:00.000-08:00

Exhausted and Restless. It's been a while since I last clubbed ever since Liquid room.
*A Tuesday @Thumper*
2 Queens night
It's girls only as they say
Grooving hot music
Poles and Dancing
Vodka, vodka, vodka
Where's my Martini
Too many ladies
as Irene Ang hosts the night
my Chloe dearie with her kisses
The solo individual winner for the the most kisses award
3am and home sweet home
I feel vodka down my throat
and
I can't seem to catch up with sleep

The night's been quiet today, helping my parents pack their luggage
cause they're leaving on a jetplane and leaving me back here once again
Not because I didn't want to go, but too many things came up
and of course... I'm hoping to plan my schedule, work and much more
I managed to clear my wardrobe with 2 big bags of clothes
plus, my table which was filled with work, papers and simpy rubbish!
And of a sudden, I felt a certain emptiness in me
the emotional self being is tangled with my emotions
I hope my bestie is feeling better *hugs*
I'm always here babe though I'm gonna miss you when u leave for your trip!
My boss left me a message about my progress with my conferences.
And got a big scolding for just thinking about next year's work theme
when these holidays aren't half way over!
Have I been overworking or simply a kan chiong spider!
As known to many, I've believed to be that perfect imperfection
I guess no one's perfect as much as they want to
how much can you be truthful to yourself and God
about what you want, what you did or what you achieved
I've seen faces of people that changed within time
how perfect they try to be or act in front of another
within themselves, are they being truthful?
The perfect imperfection, how can one ever overcome or accept it
Would you be one of those who would love another's imperfection
This entry can go on and on... and no one can ever explain how humans work
either can I
I'm beginning to see how God works in certain ways
how they planned signs in our lives that answer prayers
how fate made you see how unworthy those who aren't truthful in their words
and how things go around and come around
I belived in that, do you?
For the prayers he answered
the insecurities I prayed for
for the lies I once felt so strongly
for making me a stronger person in my life
for allowing me to love in a better way
and showing me how I was cherished
Thank you
*Pictures will be up soon!!! Look out for them*

2005-12-06T14:52:00.000-08:00

2005-12-06T14:50:00.000-08:00

2005-12-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

2005-12-04T02:30:00.000-08:00

Q.U.E.E.R the N.I.G.H.T

Where I felt the wall was so cold
the dance floor were filled with Men
Lil Babez yet Countless Gays
Chloe and her 'sistas'
Too many names to recall
Yawn suggest Dolor and I
"Fruitips?" says Lil Bao
Redbull and sushi's up my throat
My cold running up and down
Thumper's making me excited!
Awwww.. Orchard's Christmas lights...
Pix pix Pix uploading soon!
I'm missing you.....
Are YOU too?

2005-12-03T15:49:00.000-08:00

Your Heart Is Green

Love completes you, but that doesn't mean you seek it out.
When love comes your way, you integrate it peacefully into the rest of you life.

Your flirting style: Laid back

Your lucky first date: Walking around aimlessly and talking

Your dream lover: Is both enthusiastic and calm

What you bring to relationships: Balance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

2005-12-03T15:42:00.000-08:00

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.
You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.
You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

2005-12-02T13:50:00.000-08:00

The weekend's here
and I'm outta here!
Driving down to town soon
Early christmas shopping and burfday pressies!
So many things yet so little time
Well, at least I managed to get a pressie for my sister
A good deal for a DKNY watch, why not
Sleek and simple..
My family's heading to Bangkok without me
a whole house to myself..
with events that have been pre booked on my calander
Tomorrow: Birthday celebration and might head down to zouk just for my fairy!
Monday: Pickleberryfairy's birthday!
Tuesday: Thumper after all these months of working on a Tuesday!
Wednesday: *No plans yet*
Thursday: Her story @Zouk with my besties gurlies
Friday: *No plans yet*
Sat: *No plans yet*
Sunday: Jadey gurlie's bbq with my besties...
Next tuesday: Joey's Grad and fashion show
and the list goes on!
I'm outta here..
23 days to Christmas!

2005-12-01T23:59:00.000-08:00

2005-11-30T23:04:00.000-08:00

*Drained*
Mentally, physically and emotionally
Would you ever understand
where I stand now, what I feel or what I say
When I thought time was the last on my mind
I was wrong
*Drained*

2005-11-28T17:57:00.000-08:00

2005-11-28T12:44:00.000-08:00

2005-11-28T01:45:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since we gurlies met
the night was simply great
too much laughter and snapping
the birthday gurl couldn't get any drunk with rootbeer
Shoo the candles and welcoming 22 years of your life
A ciggie on the cake for the birthday gurl
Chocolate royal taste good
the beer can't get any better
While Dolor and Lala enjoy Heineken
the gurlies indulge in some Tiger
The night goes on till 2am
Oh what a night
I thank God for you gurlies in my life
cause we all know
despite the busy lives we have
the little time we spend together
deep in our hearts
we simply lurve each other
*******
Greta, Pohkee, Rosie, Polly, Yuko, Veronica
and
we do need a new name for andrea!

2005-11-27T13:24:00.000-08:00

It's one of those sundays
where lazing was just the perfect word
to just let the Nano groove in your ears and you just stone
where I realised holidays have just begun
with a lil left over work to officially start with
A hundred and forty pictures upload
where do I even start!
I had a fantasic overnight camp with my kids
and a perfect birthday booze gathering with the gurlies last night
Wishing my Pickleberryfairy was there too!
(Despite knowing she's grooving to the clubs in KL)
Come December, a whole lot of planned events
Thumper, Her story, Joey's grad, Fashion show, Jadey's Bbq
Christmas shopping, 2006 planning, Egeria and Fel's arrival,
and of course, spending time with my family...
"Swing swing swing" as All American Rejects sing
I'm off for lunch with Joey and an evening with God
So many things to say and do...

Could I ever stop the clock from ticking...
*will upload the pix soon people!*

2005-11-23T22:14:00.000-08:00

2005-11-22T23:18:00.000-08:00

It's just one of those nights
Where she find myself submerging her head in the deep waters
She wonders why she would ever have that thought

She calls to no one over a silent plain
where malicious shrubs veil happiness from her
She seeks solace in the depths of her depression
and find nuances of love buried in the sand

She runs from no one but herself
and yearns to find a niche
For none but herself
But can't find naught
For all in all
What's left
is just
Death.

2005-11-20T23:48:00.000-08:00

And finally!!!!

Some time off to sit and stare at this com of mine

Been so busy that I haven't had time to even drink water

Not being paid a million thousands for my job

but it's the time of the month!

Not periods, nor a time to complain

yet! a time where meeting parents and

discussing about progress, development and so fro

When will it ever end?

Camp starts tommorroe and even though I'm excited

This cough and voice of mine aint helping me right now

The bugger flu and excuse me...... I haven't been drinking!

In fact the last time I drank was at least 2 months back.

A dearest loved one came across something unexpected

that made her life changed within a night

and made me think what love was really all about

As much as I was once in her position, I was once in his position too.

About trust, lies, honesty, love and respect.

How could one ever have all these qualities when they claimed they loved?

No matter how much one could forgive and move on?

At the back of the head, wouldn't one ever wonder

Seeing her cry, I lent her my shoulder

the same way she stood by me when I cried over another

From a sister to a sister, I felt her pain

The pain of seeing things that weren't expected

the back flashed back, how one could be so god damn good to another

yet played a mind fooling game in the past

so much for "loving and would understand some day"

I finally understood what they meant and what I need right now

Enough of this, enough of all I once believed

I had enough, get out and leave......

from a sister to a sister

"I know how it feels and I feel that pain of yours

to find out and things and link them all up to events

it brought us to see that things happened for a reason

we find things unexpectly cause God led us there

to narrow the questions we have on our mind

and to make a path of a happier life

You once said

"It's his loss to let go of someone who was willing to sacrifice her life for his.

It's his loss of choosing someone else instead of someone who loved him with all her heart

It's his loss for giving up someone who was willing to change

It's his loss, not yours.

What goes around comes around, it's about fate, having true love and time"

I'm saying the very same thing now to you. Easier said than done

But, god will make you stronger in heart and mind.

He did for me, and he's still healing me. He will heal you too."

A short weekend and some time off away from work

Funfair was tiring yet successful

Managed to raise funds, get free ice cream and of course balloon party

and not forgetting the Arsenal ice jelly incidents!

Scene one:

This ang mo father came up and asked "What's this?"

so then i replied "Oh! is ice jelly with cocktail"

He looked at my Arsenal jersey and said "So u're an arsenal fan"

I nodded "yeap!"

He replied "that's great! I am too... Ok then, give me 2 ice jellies"

*So jersey gives a boost to sales!*

Scene two:

Another father comes up with a son and said "Ice jelly huh? Homemade?"

I replied "yeah, and you should try it cause it taste good!"

the little son said " I want ice jelly!"

the father said "Ok, give me one for my boy and extra two to take away

since you're an Arsenal fan too"

*Grinning* "Great! you won't regret it" I replied

The father asked" So I guess your fav player is Henry"

I shaked my head and replied "Nope! I adore Pires ever since I became an Arsenal Fan"

He looked at me in surprise "Really? You're rare!

great to hear something different from a Arsenal gal fan"

*Smiles* At the back of head 'Lucky son! U got the jersey I want!'

Managed to spend some quiet moments with Joey this weekend

after a whole long week of busy work loads we had

Caught Harry Potter despite the massive booking all around!

Well, the good thing about internet booking! *at 8am*

Had to run around the library looking around for books on fishes

My nano's running out of batt and my dear phone's using up my time!

At least I never need to send MMS or download those crappy ring tones

The use of a MMC card which I finally found a good use to it!

The words are "Upload, upload, upload"

A daily routine of uploading

- My Nano

- My Digi

- My Phone

I think I need some space to "upload" my energy for another week!

till then....

I'm missing my special someone

*Today was great* Muacks!

2005-11-16T21:14:00.000-08:00

I've been bugged by the flu bug! *Confused*
Restless and bitter about everything around me
My inflamed throat is giving me a bad night
that it spoils my mood of even talking
I hope my Pickleberryfairy is feeling better now
though the bug has arrived in Pasir Ris to attack
Darn the vitamins, aint helping this weak body of mine after getting chicken pox
Hopefully the lemon honey I bought would ease some pain.
Been blinded by pictures that needs to be arrange for the parent teacher conference
and with the kids photo Christmas cards that are surprise mails for their parents..
the pictures are endlessly uploading and nicely left in folders to burn.
2 weeks more to a sort of holiday for me.... with a 5 days home alone week!
I'll work harder and not give up!!!!!!!!
*Bleah*
Back to picture arranging.... Hello pictures, good bye sleep.

2005-11-14T22:20:00.000-08:00

A Monday blues with lil tender loving care......

As Pickleberryfairy labelled her blog

"Where there is no where else to turn to"

Lala turns to rambling her utter most emotional thoughts

listening to those Chinese love songs that seem so perfectly smoothing

I'm a lil sucker for chinese /cantonese songs these days

From S.H.E to Jay chou, to tunes that an old one downloaded,

I guess I finally got the courage to those old tunes that brought back the memory lane.

Currently suffering from a bad cold and a slight cough,

I'm praying I'm not catching the flu bug like my poor fairy! *Sneeze*

An update of everything that's happening, three words "No freaking idea!"

I'm in a state of denial of handling the reports on hand, files that need to be update,

photos that needed to be arranged, planning of activities and endless job load.

As many of you are rushing, so does Teacher Avril

and her silly thought of having an imaginary fwen to assist me in my work!

A comforting note: 2 weeks more to the holidays

with my two bitches that are coming back to Singapore! *Yippeee*

with a week of having the whole house to myself

What else can Avril be dreading with.....

1. The work schedue next year in relation to the extended hours

2. Having a k2 class finally despite the pressure of draining them to get used to Pri 1

3. Not forgetting, researching on the MOE's system!

4. Getting started on my degree next year though I did look into a previous place that offered Monash degree in Early Childhood Studies.

But my mind is still fixed on the degree I deferred this year with Drama and Theatre,

Film And Fiction, Special needs, Social policy etc etc.

And after which moving on to the Masters of Science in EArly Childhood Education.

I feel old! Almost old... old to be wiser, old to think and old enough to find matured individuals around me and old enough to see things (as some would say)

We'll see how it goes! (",)

5. Dolor's leaving for Perth in February, though it's not a comfirmed decision.

It would be one of the things I would dread!

Cause Cause..... *SOoooooooooooooo LoOooooong*

6. As a year older, more responsibilities, more opportunies, more matters to look into and of course looking forward for Christmas!

Despite, my mama aint here, I know she's smiling at me from up above.

And of course, the new / old peeps that I got to know or meet up again....

Those who never failed to stand by me when I fell so hard.

7. Dreading and fearing that ONE DAY, my baby aint bringing me for

a kite flying session with a picnic!

That's a big HINT for u!!!!

and to my bestie Pickleberryfairy GET WELL SOON!!!!!!!

cause Lala misses you!

CONCLUDED THAT THIS WEEK IS:

'SICK BUG WEEK'

Have you been BUGGED too?

2005-11-13T23:57:00.000-08:00

A fantastic Sunday with a lil rushing here and a lil rushing there

Car hopping from Tampines to Church then to Simei

Well, at least we managed to get the phones

and of course get to church early for a carpark

to end off

A good dinner at Simei

Yummy! Never better!

The reflection of mass this week:

"Where do you think we can find the ideal woman?"

On the covers of glamour magazines? on TV or movies screens?

In the halls of political power?

*Something to think about for you?*

To the married woman and the single woman,

to the young woman and the elderly woman,

to those working inside and outside the home,

to those woman with or without children,

this short poem presents a beautiful ideal.

It paints a picture of strength and dignity,

of caring and compassion,

of responsiblilty and trust,

of love and unity.

And most important of all,

this ideal woman places God first,

both in her daily activities and in her heart.

Are you that WoMaN?

2005-11-13T09:36:00.000-08:00

"We all try so hard to be strong or free or safe,

or whatever it is we think we need most...

and in the end all we can ever be is just us.

And it's enough because it has to be.

There's not anything else."

Anne River Siddons

2005-11-13T01:01:00.000-08:00

T.A.M.P.I.N.E.S

*hopefully not stepping in that home ground for 2 weeks*

6.45am: Darn the alarm and hello to the good cold morning!

7.40am: Rushing out with my Nano blasting just to wake me up!

8am: Arrival at work, preparation for 9am's orientation

9am - 11.30am: busy at work, new kids, christmas stories

11.45am: Dolor picks me up for lunch with her homely peeps

12.30pm: Browsing and browsing

Dolor wants me to blog my sorrows on how to

check out a salesgirl while helping to pick up a earring

*Bleh*

3pm: "Can we go home now?"

Dolor's daddy calls for SOS at Best Denki

4.10pm: 3 phones, heart aching Dolor despite the bill aint going to her

4.45pm: Home sweet home

K.O after all that shopping

6.15pm: Alarm rings *We're late!*

Quick quick quick

7.10pm: A ride from Dolor's dad

7.15pm: In session with "Just like heaven"

Predictable ending: the touch of the hand, rooftop garden and the kiss

10pm: Finally back home

Clearing the pix on my phones, storing numbers, deleting numbers

Charging and updating Nano

Uploded new pics on blogger

*Sneeze*

An urge to prebook the Harry Potter tix

1am: Logging off and a good night's sleep

*Despite the high interest you decided to charge me every minute

and not accepting any of it! Thanks for the phone Uncle!*

2005-11-12T00:04:00.000-08:00

Tired eyes tonight
What do the eyes mean to you?
A sudden thought stuck this clueless mind
Look into the eyes of someone and tell me what you see
Eyes of happiness
Eyes of sadness
Eyes of lonliness
Eyes of jealousy
Eyes of anger
Eyes of revenge
Eyes of cheerfulness
Eyes of discomfort
Eyes of pureness
Eyes of security
Eyes of hurt
Eyes of love
Eyes of hatred
Eyes of confusion
Eyes of bliss
Eyes of loyalty
Eyes of unfaithfulness
Eyes of truth
Eyes of lies
What do those eyes say
Do they mean what they look?
or does everyones' eyes just an image on the outside
Do they ever mean what they look
Would they ever see what's around them or within them
for every reason, they looked in that way for a reason
No one would ever know except you yourself.
A friday on a topic of eyes
Do the eyes ever bore you?
Do they ever made you see what's truly around you
or made you see people in their honesty and truth
I'm a confessed individual
I saw what I had to see, hated what I once saw
Through these confessions
I'm glad I found my way back to these eyes
They made me see you in your most "honest" ways
how your "love" was and I tried to be your "perfection"
when you tried to be that "truthful individual"
Prayers saw through these eyes and God healed the painful sight
Thank God for these eyes....
it made me a happier person

2005-11-10T23:07:00.000-08:00

Too tired to handle
An exhausted mind
and
An aching body
Interrupted work
Nano's grooving good music
Restless thoughts
A screaming heart
Pissed off people
Strength is what I need
Need a break from all this
Someone save my soul

2005-11-09T22:51:00.000-08:00

2005-11-07T22:40:00.000-08:00

Caught SAVING FACE last night at Cini with Dolor, Lil Bao and Rosa

*Offically had NO WORK today!*

Rating: *A must catch show!*

Sorry kiddos below 21, it's rated

The weekends' been a blast!

Finally met up with my lovely peeps on Sat and Sun

and of course

the kiddos's concert at Singapore conference hall on Sat

Simply stressful yet a success

the loudest applause and the many praises

Finally it's over for dance rehersals and last minute rushing

Less than a month to the holidays

in other words

another 3 weeks of work

Parent teacher conference, kids evalaution files, camp

What else would Avril be busy with?

Yesh yesh, more quizes and pix for Rosa *Beeeeeeee*

Uploaded a total of 113 pix for just 2 days

and of course my indulgence with my Nano

*Awfully sweet*

Will update on the bloggie with the pix...

But meantime
Check out

Chicken Little in Cantonese

Thanks To Pickleberryfairy

Dolor and I finally found the song in the hp advert

with that chicken in it!

*Numa numa*

Currently in a grooving chicky mood

2005-11-05T00:06:00.000-08:00

2005-11-02T23:59:00.000-08:00

2005-11-01T18:56:00.000-08:00

The word 'Ironic' lies within the subconscious mind
Stuck within the dreams and reality
According to my horoscope
it says
"How can you be true to yourself, if you're not sure who you really are?

And, how can you be true to anyone else? If another person is in a similar state of uncertainty, how can they be true to you?

Too often, we base supposedly deep relationships on flimsy pretexts,

shallow assumptions and convenient pretences.

We provide for each other what we feel is wanted of us.

We want, in return, what we imagine we ought to want.

Something more meaningful is emerging in your life now. Don't fear it"

I looked for this day to come when I felt this way
Hurt, Gulit, Sadness, Confusion, Imperfections, Assumptions, Jealousy, Hatred
From the scars, I looked upon it.
Being tangled and pulled from various directions
I found myself trapped in this world of imperfection
of love, loved and being loved by
Are you the only one who is constantly thinking??
like..every single minute every single second of your life
the wonders of how people play with minds and hearts
how you saw truth in lies
the image of self indulgence in the mind of a potential selfish individual
People are funny creatures to be thought of
Creatures of habit, of love or hate, of happiness or happiness derived hatred,

of self mindedness, sad thoughts, of prejudice, egotistic, and pure physical or emotional agony that's running through their lives.
What are we then when we look at ourselves?

Read these lines from a book I'm reading
"What is life?"
"Life is a test, life is a trust and life is temporary assigment
Character is both developed and revealed by tests, and all of life is a test.
You are always being tested. God constantly watches your response to people,

problems, success, conflicts, illness, disappointments and even the weather.
You will be tested by major changes, delayed promises,

impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticism and even senseless tragedies.

An important test is you can act when you can't feel God's presence in your life."

I was caught in a emotional state when the book asked what is my view of life
I was lost, dumb struck, simply caught within the emotions which I've been fighting
I lost part of my life a few months back where I felt at the bottom
It was everything I loved and gave up most of my life for it
Even when life's aint going well, I knew I'll go all out to make it happy and bliss
Many asked "Was it worth it or giving up what you loved for just this one?"
My heart was "yes", I loved eveything about it and

I'm willing to be who it wanted me to be.
A few days back, the urge to move on and clicking on that mouse was an ache.
Removing every detail and keeping it aside.
As it was named "A beautiful memory"
It was for that moment when I looked at it now.
Maybe it never felt and saw what I did or would do
But, it didn't matter anymore.
I was not imperfect for it nor gulit stricken by the fact I was the cause of losing it
maybe lies shouldn't come from it in the first place,

promises from it that I would see someday
In the very first place, it never started loving the way it could.
Play it like a game, say the truth like it meant it.
What lies within all these, were all faces of masks.
Masks that people would see of characters at a play
where the lead actor/actress just acted the various roles of an individual

As I sank these few months, it was high up living without a doubt
The white scars that's left in me
I ponder to look upon them now, knowing one day I'll be brave
to know that they can't hurt and cry upon.
But we all know, scars do haunt and tempt to be open

and hurt at the very right spot. For that few moments through the numbed skin,
I looked with a glance. A mistake I made.

Once pierced, it'll bled again. I learn.
It only took a small paragraph to make that impact,

the truth, the promises and seeing through those lies.

It was at that moment, the heart hurt, breath loss, tears fell,

the moment I needed, the moment I felt so lost, the moment I realised.
I leave God to remove the pain and the hurt.

I've settled and mellowed down... said by many
I've met new friends, and rather say goodbye to some
I'm loving my family for standing by me when I fell so hard
Loving my sister for drying those tears I once shed so hard for it.
Cherishing my besties who saw the reality of it, yet not me
Thanking each of them for seeing me fall and picking me up when I hurt
Thanking god for giving me strength to move on

and making me see the real truth within those lies that were once told

And to a special one
who's been there all these while
for giving me comfort and advices
being there as a friend when I lost it
even till this day
understanding when I'm emotional and lost
giving me thoughts as a position of a friend
when old memories haunt me like a piercing glass
constantly making moments so special and sweet
for eating lunch with me on my bed
speeding down with the car just to see me in pox
fully spoiling me with car rides to see my bestie.
always there to hear my nonsensical craves
somehow being able to find me when I'm lost at departmental stores
(Yea... my merryland Esprite shops)
Smiling at me after a long day at work
to be proud of the MaC and Toss despite the jokes the daddy and I make
opening the knob with the sexy guru of ours, what knob many might ask
the hugs that keeps me strong in my emotions
for sharing experiences of your life
in making me see how fate plays and how time heals
accepting my true feelings and thoughts
loving me for who I am and not what I am
the promises we have with one another
mutual understanding of the trials we go through
it's you and me
that no need description or explaination
it's a silent acknowlegement between you people

My life's complete with you, it couldn't get any better
I'm more than ever thankful for the blissful life I lead now

It's a endless list I would type....
but know that after each day of our different work enviroment we have,
I'm cherishing each day we have, each snuggles we love, each photo we smiled and grinned,
each tear we cry, each joke we laugh, each fight we experience,
each fighting or biting session, each coffee breaks with our peeps
and each and every moment with you.

2005-10-31T23:14:00.000-08:00

2005-10-31T21:38:00.000-08:00

Purple.Purple personalities strive to better themselves
spiritually, mentally and emotionally. They are
voracious readers, constantly seeking
knowledge, particularly in tales of the lives
of others. Wanting a greater spiritual
connection, they love the subjects of theology
and religion. Thus armed, they love to spread
their findings to others to help them on their
spiritual paths. Those who favor darker purple
work to find inner peace and love and a
connection to God or their higher power. As
givers, they are fine friends as they don't
seem to ask much for themselves. If they do
seek help from another and are not clear in
their desire, they may resent the fact that
their request is not forthcoming. They can
develop a hard-done-by attitude in this case.Planet: JupiterElement: FireGemstone: SapphireMetal: TinMusical Note: B - sacred music, hymns.

What colour are you?

What kind of a girlfriend/boyfriend are you?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
You are	sexy and keep them coming back for more
When your g/f-b/f thinks you are	Heaven sent
Your g/f-b/f thinks your kiss is	passionate

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